Dealing with the fear of direct approaching and tapping into your inner confidence to be direct

First of all, fear is a completely natural and normal emotion. It is nature's way of preparing us to be more alert and more sensually aware in situations that are outside of our comfort zone of that might be of 'threat' to us. I use the word 'threat' with a pinch of salt here, because when you feel the fear of approaching a woman, there is no real 'threat' to you physically. I mean, nothing bad can happen from approaching a woman (very rarely anyway). But if you were about to be in a fight with some big muscled guy, you would be justified in feeling fear because there would be a chance you could get hurt.

Why you fear Direct approaching women

First of all, let's deal with WHY you feel the fear of Direct approaching women you find attractive. These are the main reasons guys fear being Direct with women:

1) You fear how they will react in response to your Direct approach

2) You fear rejection, especially if it's a quick, blunt rejection

3) You fear any sort of bad reaction from them

4) You don't know what to say on your Direct approach, you're not sure what to say or do AFTER the initial approach, or how to respond to the most common 'objections' girls may give you when you approach Direct.

Now the truth is, most of the time girls are perfectly friendly and polite towards you when you approach them Direct. I've done hundreds, if not thousands, of Direct approaches and most girls have responded positively, even if they are not interested. As for rejection or any sort of bad reaction, well you can reach the point where those things have NO EFFECT upon you once you've done enough Direct approaches.

As for point number 4, if you read my DIRECT APPROACH EBOOK (available on this site, so read it now if you haven't already), you will know what to do say and do in all stages of a Direct approach, and how to respond to any objections you might encounter. Knowing what you're doing in all stages of a Direct approach will significantly diminish your fear because you will feel confident knowing that you know what to say and do.

2 truths about fear:

1) Whenever you do something that is outside of your current comfort zone, you will feel some sort of fear.

2) Whenever you push through fear, it goes away and no longer has any power over you.

Now here's the thing related to truth 2: when you take bold action and push through your fear of something, and you do the thing you fear, you will emerge on the other side of fear to reach a place where you NO LONGER FEEL THAT FEAR.

I have 2 mantras I use whenever I am about to do something I fear, that illustrate this point:

"On the other side of fear lies confidence" (In other words, when you push through the fear, you are rewarded by a rush of inner confidence).

"On the other side of fear lies the excitement and adrenaline rush that comes from no longer being bound by fear"

Look at fear as a barrier you have to force yourself to push through in order to free yourself from fear. You push through that barrier and you are free.

Another way to look at fear

Instead of looking at fear as something scary, look at fear as an adrenaline rush and excitement that you can harness and use to drive you towards what it is you want to do.

When you Direct approach a girl but you're full of fear, look at the feeling of fear as being 'the excitement and thrill of the approach'. Your sense will be heightened to make you more alert and aware, and this is a positive thing! Looking at it this way will no longer make fear be a block, but as a positive energy you can use to fuel you towards doing the Direct approach.

Also, when you look at a hot girl and get that excitement and adrenaline feeling, look at this as nature's way of telling you to approach her!

Once you've done lots of Direct approaches, you will no longer fear approaching, rejection or bad reactions from women.

Seriously, once you've done dozens of Direct approaches, eventually you'll reach the point where Direct approaching no longer scares you. You will have no fear of walking up to attractive girls and being Direct. You will no longer fear rejection or bad reactions. Direct approaches will be totally within your normal comfort zone and feel totally natural to you.

A final thought about horniness and overcoming fear

When you go out to Direct approach women, if you feel horny then this sexual energy can compel you to push through the fear and Direct approach those women you find attractive.

Summary

From here on now, if you fear doing Direct approaches, don't worry about it. Familiarise yourself with the 'how to' and mindset of Direct approaches by reading this blog and my ebooks.

Next, accept where you are now, and understand that the first few Direct approaches WILL feel a bit scary, but also understand that once you've pushed through the fear and done several dozen Direct approaches, you will emerge a different person, free from fear, full of bold confidence and able to Direct approach any girl you want without fear being a block any more. And from that platform, you will start being much more successful with women..