Most PUA gurus and PUA principles teach guys to count 'false positives' as signs of being successful with women, when in fact they are nothing more than red herrings that mean nothing.

Published on 19 February 2014 at 11:55

by Neil K

Anyone who has been following this blog and who is familiar with the Direct Approach philosophy and my ebooks will know that I am not a fan of the PUA community or the principles taught by all the so called 'PUA gurus'.

 

Now it is not my intention to turn this into a 'bash PUA' site (heck, there are plenty of 'bash PUA' sites out there), however I do feel the need to speak out against certain things in the 'PUA community' that I feel are blatantly misleading and only serve to misinform guys about what it takes to be successful with women.

One of the things that PUA gurus do is that they teach guys to associate 'false positives' as indicators of success with women.

When I say 'false positives' I mean anything a woman says or does that leads a guy to believe he is being successful with her, when in fact he isn't actually getting anywhere at all. Let me give you the most common 'false positives' that naive guys frequently encounter:-

 

1) A girl laughs at your jokes or your 'cocky/funny' routine

The PUA gurus will tell you that 'if you get a girl laughing, it means she's sexually attracted to you'. I hate to break it you, but this is complete bullshit. Girls laugh at their male platonic friends all the time, but it doesn't mean they want to fuck them.

Getting a girl laughing a little isn't a bad thing (but don't take it too far and become a 'clown' or 'mr funny man'), but it is NOT an indicator of any kind of sexual or romantic interest in you.

2) A girl gives you her phone number

The PUA community in general is obsessed with the idea of that 'getting a girl's phone number means she's attracted to you'. Newsflash: these days, phone numbers mean jack shit. Just because you met a girl and she gave you her phone number doesn't necessarily mean she's into you romantically or sexually. Women give out their phone numbers like candy  in this day and age. They love the attention that they get from guys who text and call them, even if the have no intention of ever meeting up with, dating or fucking those guys.

How many times have you taken a girl's phone number and gone home in a great mood, believing you've 'pulled her', only to try and call her and she doesn't answer, or you text her and you ask her to meet up but she never seems to be free to meet, and you get stuck being her 'text message buddy' instead? She was just using you for attention and an ego boost. She loved the fact you texted her or tried to call her and tried to get her to meet up with you, but she DIDN'T WANT YOU SEXUALLY. And you fell for it.

This happens to guys ALL THE TIME (especially to PUAs)...yet they still delude themselves into believing getting a phone number is some kind of indicator of interest. As I said in my ebook, it's much better to not bother taking phone numbers and instead give the girl YOUR number instead.

3) A girl lets you add her on Facebook, Twitter, Skype (or any other form of social media of digital communication)

As with phone numbers, girls add guys on Facebook, Twitter etc all the time and enjoy talking to these guys in a platonic, friendly manner and enjoy the attention and ego boost they get from these guys....but they will never meet up with these guys or do anything romantic or sexual with them. Meanwhile, these guys believe that by talking to these girls online, that they're 'getting somewhere' with them.

I've heard some PUAs teaching 'Facebook game'. Sorry, but 'Facebook game' doesn't exist.

You don't want to get stuck being a girl's 'Facebook friend'. Do away with social media when it comes to meeting women.

4) A girl texts you back and forth

The same applies to texting. I've heard some PUAs teaching 'Text message game'. Sorry, but 'Text message game' doesn't exist.

You don't want to get stuck being a girl's 'text message buddy'. In fact, do away with texting when it comes to women and speak to them on the phone and in person. If you absolutely must text a woman, keep it to a minimum, for example to confirm a time or place to meet, but don't fall into the trap of texting back and forth in some sort of 'texting conversation' as it'll just make you seem way too available and start to diminish her attraction towards you if you text constantly.

5) A girl emails you back and forth

Again, this isn't an indicator of interest either. Don't get stuck being a girl's 'email buddy'.

6) A girl has long winded, friendly conversations with you

A lot of guys believe that the longer their conversation with a girl, the more chance that she will become attracted to him. Again, this is also complete and utter bullshit. Studies have shown that women decide anywhere within the first 30 seconds to 5 minutes whether they're actually romantically/sexually attracted to a guy. If a girl is attracted to you initially, this attraction can become amplified by getting to know each other, but if she flat out doesn't find you romantically/sexually attractive, long winded conversations will just serve to reinforce that in her mind and put you further and further into the 'friend zone'.

Look, lots of women enjoy long, friendly, platonic conversations with guys as they like the attention, but it doesn't necessarily mean she is romantically or sexually attracted to them.

7) A girl 'hangs out' or 'meets up' with you, or even goes on a 'date' with you

Just because a girl is 'hanging out' or 'meeting up' with you doesn't necessarily mean she is sexually/romantically attracted to you. She might just like the attention and having someone to talk to. Don't be some girl's 'hang out buddy'.

So if all these 'false positives' mean NOTHING and can NEVER be relied upon as signs that a girl is attracted to you, how DO you know whether she's interested in you in that way?

Good question, my friend! I'll now give you the ONLY signs that matter when it comes to how to tell if a girl is REALLY into you sexually/romantically......

1) If a girl takes the trouble to call YOU, after you've Direct approached her, stated your intentions, and given her a way to contact you.

You approach a girl one day, you are very Direct, you make it clear you find her attractive and invite her to get together with you sometime in the near future. You let her know your intentions, and you give her your number, leaving the ball in her court, and tell her to give you a call if she's interested in getting together.

A few days, weeks or months later, this same girl calls you. It's pretty safe to say she IS interested in you romantically/sexually if this happens. A girl will rarely call you if she genuinely isn't attracted to you. Usually if she isn't interested, she just won't bother calling you.

(If on the very rare occasion a girl calls you in order to just 'tease you', but she isn't actually interested in you, you can simply hang up on her and move on to another girl. But this rarely happens; usually if a girl is motivated to call you, she's interested).

2) If you've actually been sexually intimate with her

It goes without saying that if you've gotten the girl into your bed and had sex with each other, she's into you.

These are the only 2 indicators that can be relied upon as signs that a girl is romantically/sexually attracted to you. Everything else is just a red herring that can't be relied up 100% as any sort of 'sign of interest', despite what all the so called 'PUA gurus' will tell you. So in summary, unless a girl calls you after you've given her your number, or unless you've had sex with her, then you can't say for definite she's into you romantically or sexually. Don't fall for the 'false positives' that the PUA community hypes up so much.

Add comment

Comments

There are no comments yet.