Looks, status, value, wealth, career success, fame, expensive material possessions or big muscles aren't needed to be successful with women when you're a Direct guy

Published on 15 March 2015 at 17:44

by Neil K

This is a question that is asked a lot, and there are a lot of misconceptions and misunderstandings surrounding this subject. So I thought I'd write a blog post about this, and explain how these things relate to the Direct Approach.

Many guys believe you can't pull hot, attractive women consistently and have an abundance of sex if you are not good looking, if you have no status or 'value', if you don't have a lot of money, fame or a high-flying career, or if you don't own expensive material possessions or have big muscles. But I'd like to explain why these things are not necessary for success with women, especially if you are a Direct guy.

Largely, we are just socially conditioned (a.k.a. brainwashed) to believe we need all these things in order to be successful with women. The media and society around us constantly bombards us with the message that we're 'not good enough' to attract women just as we are, and instead we need all these additional things to attract them. This makes a lot of guys feel inadequate and insecure if they don't have any of these things, and they believe they can't get the women they want just as they are.

Advertisers are one of the main culprits for this. How many times do you see adverts that try to convince you that buying their expensive car, clothes, aftershave, etc will make you magically successful with women? This just traps people into buying their products. I'm here to explain why things don't need to be this way, and you CAN in fact have consistent success with attractive women if you don't have these things. And the beauty of this is that mastering the Direct Approach is your way out of the trap.

Now don't get me wrong, it is not that these things in and of themselves are necessarily bad. But when you have to rely on them to attract women, therein lies the problem.

True ability with women vs pseudo ability

In my opinion, there are 2 types of ability with women: true ability and pseudo ability.

True ability 
means being able to consistently be successful with women (using the Direct approach) without relying on 
looks, status, 'value', money, career success, fame, owning expensive material possessions and having big muscles.

Pseudo ability
 is where you have to rely upon those things to 'attract' women: looks, status, 'value', money, career success, fame, owning expensive material possessions and having big muscles. The thing is, being skilled with women is skill of it's own, a skill that is independent of looks, status, 'value', money, career success, fame, owning expensive material possessions and having big muscles. This what most guys don't realise!

If you have true ability with women, i.e. you have learned Direct and are able to get women turned on with your Direct words and bold confidence, then you will be able to bypass the need for good looks, status, 'value', money, fame, career success, owning expensive material possessions and having big muscles.

Those things don't matter IF you are a Direct guy who knows what he is doing when it comes to women. Those things DO matter if you are a guy who doesn't know what he's doing with women.

If you want to bypass the need for these things, you must rely on the expert use of your mouth - and you can take that in more ways than one :-) -, coupled with bold confidence; you must be verbally Direct with women, and you must be able to get them turned on with your words. This is quite easy when you understand sexually erotic Direct, which I explain in my second e-book.

So let's have a look at these things in more detail and explain why they're not really needed for success with women:

Looks: First of all, it's not necessary to be intrinsically good looking to be successful with women. I won't deny that good looks can help to initially get their attention, especially with younger women. But it's not the be all and end all. Being well dressed and presented is more important than being intrinsically good looking.

There is also something quite compelling about a guy who lacks good looks, but who approaches and interacts with women with a shedload of confidence in a Direct manner, especially if he is very sexually Direct and using erotic language in a manner that gets women turned on in his approaches. It's almost like he doesn't care or doesn't even seem bothered by the fact that he isn't good looking, but just Direct approaches women anyway. He feels no insecurity or lack of confidence about his lack of good looks, and this can be very intriguing to a lot of women. They might wonder 'why does this guy have so much confidence to be so Direct and bold with me if he isn't good looking?', and be intrigued to find out more.

The bottom line is, massive confidence coupled with being Direct makes a better and more lasting impression on women than mere good looks alone.

Status: Many men in western society today are obsessed with the notion of 'status', so much so that they spend most of their lives trying to increase their status (or their 'perceived status'), via their career or their social standing. And the world around us makes us believe we must have this 'high status' in order to attract women.

But again, it's all a societal trap designed to make us feel insecure.

In my view, status can be an intrinsic thing and have nothing to do with external factors, despite what society wants us to believe. If you believe you are 'high status', that's what you are.

The sooner guys stop worrying about 'status' and instead just realise they're good enough right now, as they are, the sooner they can get on with pursuing women without constantly thinking they're 'not high status enough' and all that bullshit.

Value: Many dating/pua gurus constantly talk about the notion of 'value', and dream up ways to 'demonstrate their value to women'. Personally I hate the term 'value'. It just sounds to so cheesy and corny.

Instead of dreaming up fake ways to 'demonstrate value', how about you ACTUALLY value yourself by believe you ARE a high value person, and live a life you're happy with? That way, you'll naturally project 'high value', whatever that means.

Value, like status, is an intrinsic thing, and has nothing to do with external factors, despite what society wants us to believe. If you believe you are 'high value', that's what you are. You don't need to 'demonstrate value' at all. Instead, you can simply have a quiet, inner confidence about yourself that people can naturally sense.

Wealth: I can't tell you how many times I've heard guys say that if only they had plenty of money, they'd be able to attract more women (or hotter women). But it's just another myth they've been brainwashed to believe by society. We all need money to live within society, and certainly having plenty of money makes life easier, less worrisome and gives you more choices about what you can do in life.

However, when it comes to attracting women, being wealthy doesn't really matter. You just need to know how to get women turned on, and that has nothing to do with your bank balance and everything to do with your Direct skill set with women, which can be mastered regardless of how much money you currently have.

Career success: Another thing many guys believe is that you need to have a high-flying job or career in order to have the best success with women. They can't see how a guy with an average job, or no job at all, can have the same success in dating and relationships. But, actually, you can, IF you have true ability with women.

It's fine to pursue a high-flying career and be highly ambitious if you choose to do so....but do it for the right reasons. Do it for YOURSELF, not to attract women.

Fame: Western society is obsessed with celebrity culture, and many young people now have the goal of becoming a celebrity as their main goal in life. But you don't need fame to have massive success with women. You just need to put some time and effort in to go out and Direct approach women you're attracted to on a consistent basis until you start getting successes.

Expensive material possessions:
 How many times do guys believe that having a flash car, a fancy suit, an expensive watch, a nice house, etc will make them more attractive to women?

The truth is, having those things won't suddenly make you a ladies man - that's all just marketing bullshit to convince guys to buy their products. And if you lack true skill with women, then all you'll do is attract superficial women who don't really like you for you, but rather only your possessions.

Big muscles: You don't need to be muscly guy and it's simply not necessary to work out in the gym and have a toned, 'buff' body, in order to attract women. It's fine to work out in the gym if you want to, for your own health and enjoyment. It's true that muscles can be a turn on to some women, but you can do just fine without all that too if you know what you're doing,

Genuine interest from women vs superficial interest

Looks, status, 'value', money, career success, fame, owning expensive material possessions and having big muscles tend to attract SUPERFICIAL interest from women.

But GENUINE interest from women always transcends these things.

The other keys to bypassing the need for all these things

I mentioned earlier in this post that the first key to bypassing the need for these things is to be a Direct guy who knows what the hell he's actually doing with women. Being a guy who knows what to say and do in any situation with women in order to be successful is the first key.

Secondly, and possibly the most important point, is to simply NOT CARE about any of these things in your dealings with women. Simply stop worrying about them, and pursue the women you're attracted to in a Direct way, just as you are right now, without one thought about whether you're good looking enough, wealthy enough, whether you have enough status or value, etc.

By not caring about any of these things in your dating life, you automatically bypass the need for these things to get women and you project your real self and your natural confidence.

So, in summary, your Direct skill set and knowing what you're doing and saying in any situation with women, coupled with your confidence, matters more than any of the superficial list of things mentioned in this post.

If you're an 'average guy' with no real 'success' in life, you can still do just fine with women

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