Most of the dating advice being taught by the mainstream & the PUA community is backwards and will trip you up if you follow it

Mainstream dating advice that is backwards

1. Mainstream dating advice says that a relationship isn't a proper relationship unless it's a monogamous one

How this will trip you up: If you believe a relationship isn't a 'proper relationship' unless it's monogamous, you'll constantly feel pressured by women and society in general to get into monogamous relationships, when deep down perhaps you don't really want a serious, monogamous girlfriend. You'll never feel at peace with yourself if you do what other people expect of you rather than following your true desires.

Of course, there is nothing wrong with being in a monogamous relationship if that is what YOU want to do. But to be monogamous when you don't really want to is where the problem lies.

The Direct way: Being a Direct guy means you don't give a monkeys about what other people or society want you to do when it comes to relationships. The truth is, monogamy is not the factor which determines whether a relationship is a 'proper relationship'. What determines whether a relationship is 'proper' is whether it is based on honesty, trust, respect, good communication, and mutual enjoyment. That can happen whether a relationship is monogamous or non-monogamous, short-term, mid-term, long-term, etc.

As a Direct guy, you are true to yourself and you pursue whatever type of romantic/sexual relationship you truly desire. Your job is to find women who also want the same type of relationship as you, and that is where Direct is so effective.

2. Mainstream dating advice says that a guy is a 'player', 'womaniser' or has 'commitment issues' or is an 'eternal bachelor' if he sleeps with multiple women and doesn't want to settle down in a monogamous relationship or a marriage

How this will trip you up: Society uses labels and terms such as 'player', 'womaniser', 'commitment issues', etc as a shaming tactic to make guys believe they are doing something wrong if they don't want to follow the standard pattern of monogamy or marriage. If you believe this bullshit, you'll end up feeling guilty if you sleep with a lot of women and/or you might get roped into being monogamous or getting married when deep down you don't want to.

The Direct way: A Direct guy realises that these labels and shaming tactics are all bullshit, and he pays no attention to them. He follows his true desires without shame or guilt. Even if he sleeps with multiple women, he is always honest them about this and he never lies to or misleads any of the women he sleeps with. How could that ever be shameful or dishonest?

3. Mainstream dating advice is often clichéd and ineffective

How this will trip you up: You only have to look around you at the mess dating and relationships are in to see that mainstream dating advice doesn't work very well. If all the usual clichés we're taught to believe actually worked, then things wouldn't be in the mess they are in today.

The Direct way: A Direct guy is different from the herd of socially conditioned men that women are tired of meeting. He stands out from other guys in that he is much more real and Direct and sexual than other guys, and women notice this difference. As a result, he is much more successful in his dating life than most guys.

4. Mainstream dating advice advocates meeting women in bars and clubs or on dating sites, but fails to mention daytime, everyday places are often better and easier

How this will trip you up: Despite what you've been led to believe, bars and clubs aren't the best places to pull women. And internet dating isn't the pulling-fest that it's hyped up to be. An over reliance upon meeting women online will not force you to face your fears of approaching women, and it will become a crutch.

The Direct way: A Direct guy knows that it's possible to meet women any time, any place and as such he approaches whoever he is attracted to no matter where he is. He doesn't rely upon meeting women online; he is more interested in facing his fears and meeting women in the real world.

The PUA community advice that is backwards 

1. The PUA community says you should go indirect, 'under the radar', and not reveal your intentions to women.

How this will trip you up: The truth is, going indirect and 'under the radar' doesn't lead you anywhere (except for the 'friend zone'). You leave the woman confused about what you want from her, you establish a platonic dynamic, and you also leave the door open to have your time wasted by women and be manipulated by them if you do things that way.

The Direct way: It's always more effective and efficient to let a woman know upfront that you're attracted to her and what you want from her. That way you can see whether you're on the same page or not without wasting time, money or energy on women who are not on the same page as you.

2. The PUA community says you can't 'just be yourself', and that you have to do a load of other things and put on a fake persona

How this will trip you up: By putting on a fake persona, you will never feel totally at ease with yourself or with women. You will also come across as 'try hard' as it involves way too much 'effort' to constantly try to be someone you're not. In addition to this, women will eventually see through your façade, and when they do, they'll be gone.

The Direct way: As a Direct guy, you don't need to be anything other than your real, natural self around women. Sure, be your best self, but you don't need to be someone you're not. If a woman doesn't like you for your true self, move on to someone who does.

3. The PUA community says you have to use tactics, techniques, tricks and gimmicks to attract women

How this will trip you up: If you keep using manipulative tactics and techniques to get women, eventually it will backfire on you, women will see through it and you'll get less success with women than you would by being real and Direct. It'll also make you into a really fake, slimy, phony person. Is that what you really want to be?

The Direct way: A Direct guy does not use any techniques or tactics, tricks or gimmicks. His focus is on being 100% real with women, speaking his mind and letting his natural personality and confidence shine through.

4. The PUA community says you should never mention sex when talking to a woman

How this will trip you up: A lot of guys think that mentioning sex, especially early on when first meeting a girl, will scare the girl away. This couldn't be further from the truth. By NOT mentioning sex, you are creating a platonic, friendly dynamic between you and a woman instead a sexual one, which will lead you to being seen as 'friendly guy' rather than the sort of guy she'd sleep with or date.

The Direct way: As a Direct guy, you are NEVER afraid to talk about sex with a woman, especially shortly after meeting her. Erotic/sexual talk creates a sexual dynamic between you and a woman and turns them on when done correctly.

5. The PUA community says you should take a woman's number, add her on Facebook, do 'texting game', etc.

How this will trip you up: Too much digital communication with women makes you seem too available, kills the the mystery about you and diminishes the attraction between you and a woman. It also leaves you susceptible to being seen as her 'digital communication buddy' who she uses for attention and an ego boost, but who she never meets up with and never actually hooks up with for real. Social media can also lead to jealousy and possessiveness issues in relationships.

The Direct way: A Direct guy keeps digital communication with women to a minimum and does his dealings with women in person and over the phone mostly. This is more effective and lands him greater success with women.

6. The PUA community says that you can 'create attraction' with any woman (by using their magic 'seduction techniques') and that you have to 'build attraction' and 'build comfort' with a woman in order to hook up with her romantically/sexually

How this will trip you up: If you believe it's possible to 'create attraction' with any woman you meet, you will find that meeting women becomes a bit like trying to force a square peg into a round hole for you, as you are not allowing for the fact that no matter who you are, some women will be attracted to you, some won't. The truth is, you cannot 'create attraction' with women who just flat out aren't attracted to you. No amount of 'magic seduction techniques' will change that.

You never have to 'build attraction' with a woman; romantic/sexual attraction is the natural order of things and doesn't need to be 'built' or 'created'; it's either there from the beginning or it is not. Numerous studies have shown that women decide pretty much within the first 30 seconds to 5 minutes whether they will sleep with a guy or not, so if that's the case then no amount of 'building attraction' will change that, and why beat around the bush with indirect?

As for 'building comfort', that is a myth perpetuated by PUA guys too. 'Building comfort' is nothing more than having a friendly, platonic, non-sexual conversation and getting to know a girl in a platonic manner, or spouting some memorised PUA routines, all in a vain bid to get a girl to trust you more. 

This won't be very effective if you want to be seen as a lover and not a platonic friend to a woman. Instead of 'building comfort', just concentrate on being Direct and getting a woman turned on by leading the conversation towards sex. This will get you better results than 'building comfort'.

The Direct way: A Direct guy realises that 'creating attraction', 'building attraction' and 'building comfort' are all bullshit. Instead his focus is on being Direct and honest about his intentions, leading a conversation towards sex, and seeing whether the girl is interested in hooking up with him romantically/sexually.

7. The PUA community says that you need to memorise opening lines and routines when approaching a woman

How this will trip you up: The PUA community says you can't be spontaneous with women and that you must pre-rehearse your opening lines and memorise routines so you know what to say when approaching and talking to a woman. But this just makes you appear really fake and robotic, like a bad actor, and women will see straight through you and it will turn them off.

The Direct way: A Direct guy doesn't ever need to memorise any lines or routines before conversing with a women. He simply says whatever is on his mind, speaking authentically and honestly without holding back.

8. The PUA community says you can pull EVERY woman you approach and never get rejected again as long as you have good enough 'seduction skills'

How this will trip you up: This is on of the biggest lies taught by the PUA community. The real truth is, some women will be attracted to you, some won't, therefore you CANNOT pull EVERY woman you approach. Therefore rejection is part of the process of being successful with women. No amount of 'seduction skills' can ever get you the point where you will be able to pull every woman you talk to. Get real, PUAs.

The Direct way: A Direct guy accepts the fact that if he wants to be successful with women, he must face rejection along the way and that he will never pull every woman he approaches, but it never bothers him as he knows that there are also plenty of women out there who will be attracted to him.

9. The PUA community says that if you get rejected it was your fault or you did something wrong

How this will trip you up: If you believe you did something wrong every time you get rejected, it'll lead to self-esteem problems, blaming yourself for everything that goes wrong with women. The PUAs want you to believe it was your fault if you got rejected, and that you must study their techniques harder and improve next time if you are to not get rejected again. But this will just lead you to a cycle of frustration because what they are teaching will never happen in real life.

The Direct way: The truth is, if you get rejected it isn't always your fault. As long as you did everything right from your side, then either 1) the girl just wasn't attracted to you, or 2) sometimes women do weird, strange and fucked up things out of their own free choice, not because you did anything wrong, but because they did it of their own accord. A Direct guy is rational and mature enough to realise this, and never takes anything a woman does to him personally or as a reflection of him doing something wrong. 

Of course, a Direct guy can look back on his approaches and if there was something he felt he could've done better, he makes the changes and improves himself for his future approaches. But as long as he's given an approach his best and can look back and honestly say he couldn't have done anything better, even if he gets rejected  by a girl he doesn't fall into the trap of believing he did something wrong. He accepts it gracefully and moves on to the next girl.

Conclusion

When learning to be successful with women by being Direct, real and authentic, it is necessary to examine and let go of limiting and ineffective mainstream and PUA advice in order to move forward into real success with women. As you have seen from this blog post, most of the dating advice out there is totally backwards and isn't very useful at all. It can be hard to take to face the fact that what you've been taught all your life is bullshit, but on the flip side it is incredibly liberating when you realise the truth.