How being direct with women gives you power and the upper hand with women

Power in human relationships, of course, is merely an illusion. It doesn't actually exist, but it is a perception of how we view other people in relation to ourselves. The goal is to have women perceive you as the kind of man who has power over them, but to do so without games or manipulative tactics and without dishonesty. Is this possible? Yes, absolutely! I'll explain how and why in this post.

Over the years I have learned that there are effectively 12 main principles that you need to know and integrate into your dating life if you are to have power over women. But don't worry about the number of points here, because after reading them there is a twist on all this....I will explain how a Direct guy naturally does all 12 of these correctly:

1. The person who needs the other the least holds the power

In any interaction, one person always needs the other more than they need them. The one who needs the other the least is less needy and clingy than the other, and therefore has the power.

How to make this work for you: never NEED any particular woman.

2. The person who loves the other the least holds the power

Just like the first point, if you love someone less than they love you, you have power over them.

How to make this work for you: don't fall in love with women too quickly (or not at all if you don't want serious relationships). Always wait for a woman to be the first to reveal her love for you; never say 'I love you' first. Remember, love has to earned.

3. The person who cares the least (about the outcome in any situation) holds the power

When you go into a situation with no attachment to the outcome, i.e. you simply don't mind what happens either way, you tend to increase your power. This applies at all stages of dating and relationships. Equally, the person who is uptight and anxious about what happens in any situation has the least power.

How to make this work for you: when you approach a woman, don't care what happens or how she responds. When you go on a date or meet up with a girl, don't mind what happens - if it works out, great, if not then that's fine too. When you start seeing a girl regularly, just enjoy the relationship for what it is and don't worry about it ending. If it ends, who cares? 

4. The person who is the most fearless and uninhibited holds the power

In comparison with the women you date, would you say you're more fearless and uninhibited than them, or are they more that way than you? When a woman is bolder and less inhibited than you, she has power over you.

Living your life and speaking your mind in a fearless and uninhibited way gives you incredible power because you are no longer held back by these negative and debilitating traits. On the flip side, being fearful and conservative makes you a timid and weak character with very little power.

How to make this work for you: aim to face your fears down, always speak you mind with women, and take bold risks with them when trying to hook up with them.

5. The person who is least able to be manipulated, controlled or changed holds the power

Are you the type of guy who woman can easily manipulate and get you to do whatever they want? Are you the type of guy who can easily be controlled or changed by a woman? If so, you're giving away your power to them and you are a weak, spineless character. 

How to make this work for you: never allow a woman to control you in any way - don't let them tell you what you can and cannot do, where you can go, who you can see, what you wear, how you style yourself, etc. Have some backbone, for goodness sake. Never change anything about yourself just to please a woman. Be who you are, and if a woman doesn't like it's her problem. Move on to another girl who likes you exactly as you are.

6. The person who sets the 'tone' of the relationship (and the rules and boundaries) and who is most dominant/'wears the trousers' in the relationship holds the power

I'm sure you've heard the expression 'wearing the trousers' in a relationship. The person who 'wears the trousers' is basically the boss of the relationship, the most dominant of the two. He/she also usually establishes the rules and boundaries of the relationship.

If you want to have power over women, never ever let a woman 'wear the trousers' in any relationship you have. Always be the most dominant of the two. That doesn't mean you have to control or boss women about in a nasty or disrespectful way, but it does mean that you need to take the lead and be the main decision maker.

How to make this work for you: take the reins of your relationships, make the decisions, set the rules and boundaries and tell women how things are going to be and they can either take it or leave it. 

7. The person who takes the lead and controls the interaction holds the power

This could be seen as a variation of the previous point, but I feel this is an important principle in its own right. When a woman is with you, do you take the lead and are you in control of the interaction, or is she? 

How to make this work for you: as the man, you should be the one leading and taking control. When a woman is with you, YOU need to decide what you do, where you go and you must be the one to initiate whatever you want to happen, including getting sexually intimate.

8. The person who is the least available and invests less time than the other holds the power

When you start seeing a woman, are you constantly in contact with her by text message, Facebook, Twitter or any other form of instant messaging etc? Do you reply to them the exact moment they contact you? Or are you harder to reach and less available?

If you are too available, it kills any mystery about you and what you are up to and as a result diminishes a woman's attraction towards you.

How to make this work for you: never be the type of guy who is constantly in contact with the woman you are hooking up with, never be too available. The best way to do this is to ACTUALLY live an interesting life so that you are naturally fairly busy with different things and the woman knows she is not the only thing in your life. Also, don't use, or at least limit, texting and social media to communicate with women. Speak to them mostly on the phone when you aren't together in person.

9. The person who is the least jealous and possessive holds the power

Jealousy and possessiveness ruin a lot of relationships. I see people all the time checking up on their partner's phone or social media to see who they've been talking to, or I see people throwing tantrums just because their partner talked to or so much as looked at someone of the opposite sex. It's absolutely ridiculous and very immature.

Jealousy and possessiveness leads to paranoia and the root cause of these two evils is insecurity about yourself and too much attachment to outcome. But the good news is that if you get rid of them, your power over women will increase.

How to make this work for you: chill the fuck out when you are seeing a woman! Just let go and stop worrying about what other guy she might be talking to, what she's been doing, etc. Never check up on her phone or social media messages. In fact, don't give a shit about any of that at all. Let women be the ones who get all flustered about who YOU have been talking to, but be totally relaxed and indifferent about any of that towards them.

10. The person who has the most options holds the power

When I say 'options', I mean women you could hook up with if you wanted to, or women that you are already seeing romantically/sexually. If you are seeing a woman in a non-monogamous or casual sex arrangement, you will always have more power if you have several women on the go, since you will not be that bothered if you lose a particular woman. 

As a Direct guy, you in effect have virtually unlimited options with women in that there is always an endless supply of women in the world around you that you could hook up if you go out there and Direct approach enough. You need to realise this fact, and it will make you aware of the sheer number number of potential female options you have, which of course increases your power in dating and relationships.

How to make this work for you: always have more than one woman on the go. Sleep with multiple women. This of course only applies if you and the girl have agreed to be in an open/non-monogamous/casual sex relationship. If you have agreed to be monogamous, then obviously don't date multiple women!

11. The person who is most willing to walk away holds the power

How many times have you heard a guy say to his girlfriend that he'll 'never leave her' no matter what happens? This is one of the WORST things he could ever say to a woman! When a girl knows you will 'never leave her no matter what', she has you by the balls and therefore she has power over you.

On the other hand, if you are willing walk to away, dump a girl and move on to someone else if your needs are not being met and if she doesn't treat you right and respectfully, you will hold the most power.

How to make this work for you: always be willing to walk away from a girl if she stops treating you right (i.e. with honesty, trust, respect and good communication), if your attraction towards her diminishes, or if the relationship is no longer based on mutual enjoyment. In addition to this, LET WOMEN KNOW when they first start seeing you that you are willing to walk away if these things are not being met. That way, you'll keep her on her toes and make HER worry about losing YOU, which will give you the power and upper hand.

12. The person who has the most experience in dating, relationships and sex holds the power

The more experience you have in dating, relationships and sex, the easier you'll be able to avoid the most common pitfalls that people tend to regularly encounter in their dating lives.

If you have more dating experience than your partner, then you hold the power.

How to make this work for you: always resolve to approach, date and have sex with a lot of women (unless you're a one girl, monogamous kind of guy) and be constantly learning from your experiences. That way, over time you will gain plenty of experience with women which will hold you in good stead as the years go by.

How all these 12 points relate to the Direct approach

Having discussed this whole list of ways to maintain your power and upper hand over women, what I'm really leading on to is that all these 12 points naturally fall into place if you are a Direct guy because they are all traits of being a Direct guy. Read back through them again and you will see that this is uncannily true. The ultimate lesson of this post is that the person who is the most Direct in any relationship holds the power and the upper hand.

You do not need to memorise or 'try hard' to implement these 12 points into your life. If you focus on being a Direct guy and mastering the Direct approach, you will be surprised at how all these 12 traits naturally become a part of you, enabling you to naturally and authentically have power over women and maintain the upper hand, without using any manipulative techniques and without lying.