by Neil K
In this post I'll go through some scenes in films that are good examples of a guy being Direct with a woman. I've embedded videos of the scenes here so you can watch them easily. Hopefully it'll prove useful to you to see these scenes. Although they're movies, they're still very true to life examples of how to be Direct with women.
There are a lot of examples of womanisers in films, however not all of them are Direct. The examples here will focus only on those who are truly Direct.
After watching these examples, don't copy the words here exactly when you approach women. Look at these scenes as inspiration and to give you an idea of how Direct is done, but don't be someone who copies the dialogues exactly. Be you, not a copy cat actor. That said, you will still learn a lot from these scenes, especially in terms of the sort of demeanour you need to have when being Direct.
If anyone knows of any more Direct scenes from movies or tv shows, please email me via the contact page and I'll include them in a part 2 to this post at a later date.
So let's get started. I won't give you a full synopsis of what each film is about. You can check out the entire films for yourself if you like. I'll simply focus on the specific scenes here.
Vicky Cristina Barcelona (2008)
This film has been talked about on lots of other dating advice sites also, but it contains such good examples of Direct that it has to be mentioned here. In case you haven't seen this scene, two women are on a trip to Barcelona and are sat in a restaurant when they are approached by Javier Bardem's Character, an artist named Juan Antonio.
He's very Direct and to the point and makes his sexual intentions known right away. He ends up spending the weekend (and longer) with the girls and sleeps with them both.
Notice his calm demeanour when he is dealing with 'criticism' from Vicky for being Direct.
This is the approach scene:
There a couple of other parts of the film where he's verbally Direct too. Most other sites that talk about this film only discuss the initial Direct approach in the restaurant, but fail to realise that Juan Antonio is Direct throughout the entire film. After he gets to know the two women after spending the day with them, he invites them to his room in a very Direct way.
And then there's the scene after he's taken Vicky to see a local Spanish guitarist; he compliments her on her looks and ends up kissing her and then sleeping with her (so much for her pretending she wasn't interested in him earlier on!).
I'm unable to include the last 2 scenes here because they were removed due to copyright reasons. I'll try and find a way round this in the future. I'd recommend you watch the whole film for the love plot between Juan, his wife, Vicky and Cristina, though.
A Beautiful Mind (2001)
In this scene, Russell Crowe's character, John Nash, is sat by a river with the girl he is pursuing. He makes it known verbally and Directly that he wants to have sex with her and doesn't want to go through the whole bullshit platonic interaction ritual he's expected to go through. The girl is mesmerized by what he has to say and ends up kissing him.
Shame (2011)
Although the film is a warning about the dark side of sexual addiction, there are 2 good Direct scenes in it.
The first is an example of basic Direct with not very erotic/sexual language, with a compliment to two women on the initial approach. I didn't include the parts after the initial approach because they don't turn out too great, but it's still a good example of how to open a conversation with a direct compliment:
The next scene is in a bar and is a very good example of using erotic/sexual talk in a Direct approach. Notice how the guy tells the woman what he wants to do to her sexually, and how it gets her visibly sexually aroused. Notice also how he gets in her space, locks solid eye contact with her, and speaks in a slow, deep, smooth, seductive voice:
Gossip Girl
Ok, it's not a movie, but this scene from the tv drama series 'Gossip Girl' was such an amazing example of an erotic Direct approach that I had to put it here. Just like the second bar scene in 'Shame', notice the body language of the guy here, as well as how he talks dirty into her left ear.
Happy Go Lucky (2008)
Two school teachers, one male, one female, are walking out of a classroom together. After they walk outside to leave, the guy goes Direct on the woman and hands her his number. It's not really sexually Direct, but it's to the point and the intent is there to see, so it's still a reasonable Direct approach.
Baby Boy (2001)
This film is about a guy who has a main partner who he loves, but he also hooks up with other women on the side for sex. In this scene, you see him telling his girlfriend honestly that he loves her, but he also likes to fuck other women. This is a good example of how to Directly tell a girl you're seeing that you also want to see other women too. If you watch the whole film, it's also an example of how angry women can get if you don't tell them right from the start that you want to see multiple women.
Iron Man (2008)
In this scene, Tony Stark is being interviewed by a female journalist about his business activities, when he interrupts her and goes verbally Direct with her. The two end up in bed together shortly afterwards.
Trainspotting (1996)
In this scene, Ewan McGregor's character 'Renton' is in a bar and he spots a girl in the crowd that he finds attractive. He follows her outside as she is leaving and approaches her very Directly. He ends up going home with her and sleeping with her that night. Disclaimer: it turns out the girl is 15, despite looking a bit older. Of course, I don't advocate hooking up with anyone underage. I'm just saying this is a good example of a Direct approach, but always keep it legal :-)
Note the bold manner in which he runs after her and is verbally Direct, and the way he calmly deals with her verbal criticism without being phased in any way. Her criticism meant nothing, it was simply a test to see how he'd react, since she had her tongue down his throat less than 30 seconds later. Oh, and don't sleep with an underage girl.
The Aviator (2004)
This scene is an excellent example of how to use sexually erotic Direct to get casual sex with a girl the same night, without 'getting to know her' or taking her phone number. Leonardo DiCaprio's character, Howard Hughes, bluntly invites the woman in this scene back to his hotel room so he can 'pleasure her'. A good example of eye contact and a seductive tone of voice also.
Crazy Stupid Love (2011)
This is an excellent bar scene. A guy approaches two girls sat at a table and confidently invites one of them to hook up with him that night. I don't like how he says 'Can I buy you a drink?', but everything else he says and does is spot on.
Shark Attack 3 (2002)
This is an example of straight to the point, no bullshitting about Direct using erotic/sexual language. In this example, the guy invites the woman back to his place to 'eat her pussy'.
The Decline Of Western Civilization Part 2: The Metal Years (1988)
This film is actually a documentary about the hard rock bands of the late 80s in the Los Angeles 'hair metal' scene, but one clip stood out where a guy from the band 'London' was talking about how women love it when a guy talks dirty to them, especially if he talks dirty in their ear and if he tells them in no uncertain terms what he'd like to do them sexually. He's referring to erotic/sexual Direct basically, so I thought to include this clip here.
Gangster Squad (2013)
This is another really good bar scene that starts off as a simple conversation but then turns Direct pretty quickly.
A View To A Kill (1985)
A lot of dating advice sites look up to James Bond as an example of a master seducer, however after analyzing the way he approaches and interacts with women, I've concluded that James Bond is generally NOT a verbally Direct guy and is therefore not a good example of how to be Direct with women. He never ever directly states his intentions verbally to women, and whenever it comes to his romantic/sexual intentions, he speaks in innuendos, euphemisms and cheesy one-liners.
I realise my opinion goes against the grain; after all, it's thought that James Bond is the ultimate ladies man. Well, to be fair, he IS an example of how to be good with women, he's just not verbally Direct about his romantic/sexual intentions with women. That said, he is a good example of masculinity and you can learn a lot from his body language around women, i.e. how he gets in their space and gives them solid eye contact. Also, he is totally unfazed by anything negative a woman says about him; he always remains cool, calm, and collected and in control of the situation.
However, there is one scene in 'A View To A Kill' where he is verbally Direct, so I've included it here.
Before Sunrise (1995)
This is a scene on a train. I like this scene because it's quite a bold and ballsy approach. The guy Directly invites the woman he met on the train to spend the day with him and to 'pick up' on him'.
What Women Want (2000)
Although not a totally Direct scene, I wanted to include this here because it's still a really good approach.
In this film, Mel Gibson plays the smooth 40 something womaniser, Nick Marshall. There is a scene where he approaches a woman who works in a coffee shop and he smoothly asks her out. He's Direct with his attitude, but not totally verbally Direct. I thought to include this scene as an 'honourable mention', though, because it is a fairly good approach - he has persistence, a bold attitude, excellent eye contact, and he also does the approach in front a packed coffee shop without giving a shit who's listening.
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