by Neil K
Anyone who reads my blog and and has read my ebooks would be forgiven for thinking that the Direct approach is solely for guys who want to sleep with lots of different women and have lots of casual sex, since I am perhaps a bit biased towards the positives of non-monogamous relationships.
It's true that the Direct approach is a very effective way to pull lots of different women, however Direct can also be used to meet women if you're a more romantic type of guy or someone who prefers monogamy/serious relationships or even if you're looking to get married.
I'm personally not a big fan of monogamous relationships myself, as I like to date multiple women and I enjoy my own freedom and independence, so I prefer non-monogamous/open relationships. I'm far too much of a free spirit to settle down with one women and get into a serious relationship or get married.
But that's ME. Not everyone is like me. Some guys prefer monogamous relationships and maybe you are someone who is looking for a serious girlfriend, perhaps even with a view to one day getting married. If so, then you'll be glad to know that Direct is still the most effective way to find what you're looking for.
I've said before that the Direct approach is based on a foundation of honesty, trust, respect, good communication and mutual enjoyment. Now if you are looking for a monogamous girlfriend or a wife, or indeed any other type of romantic/sexual relationship, then you need these exact same foundations if your relationship is going to be successful. So the fundamental principles of Direct apply to all types of relationships.
USING DIRECT TO FIND A MONOGAMOUS GIRLFRIEND
If you are looking for a monogamous girlfriend, you can still approach women exactly like you would on any normal Direct approach. However, when it comes time to state your intentions, you would need to let them know that you're seeking something monogamous, you could say something like 'If I like a girl, I prefer to date her exclusively. I'm not into casual sex or open relationships, if we dated I'd be looking for a monogamous relationship...but of course I'd have to get to know you to see if we're compatible or not first'.
By saying that 'you have to get to know her to see if you're compatible', you're making it clear that although you're looking for a monogamous relationship, you are the sort of guy who has to get to know a girl to see if you're right for each other before you commit to monogamy. You're screening her to see if she meets YOUR criteria. This, coupled with the fact that you're not in a rush to make the relationship monogamous straight away will throw her a little challenge as well as give you the power and the upper hand in the situation.
So if you're looking for a serious girlfriend, you should take time to get to know her, her background, character, personality etc to see if you're compatible as people (as well as sexually, of course). .
If a monogamous relationship or marriage is going to work, not only do you need the foundations I mentioned earlier in this post, but I think a mutual shared interest in life is good. I've never been married, of course, and don't intend ever to be, but it doesn't take a genius to see these same foundations are universally required across all successful romantic/sexual relationships.
CAN A DIRECT GUY BE ROMANTIC?
First of all, I think we need to start with defining what me mean by romance. When a lot of people think of what it means to be 'romantic', they often think of the usual clichés such as buying flowers or chocolates for women, or taking them out for candlelit dinners, etc. But in my view we need a better definition.
An excellent definition of romance I read recently was 'a quality or feeling of mystery, excitement, and remoteness from everyday life'. In other words, romance is all about giving women a feeling of excitement and giving them an experience that takes them away from the mundane of their everyday lives. If you can be a guy who can give women an experience that makes them feel this way, both in and out of the bedroom, then that's true romance, and as a Direct guy you are perfectly suited to do this.
Why do you think so many women read romance novels? It's not because the male characters in these books buy women flowers and gifts. Nope. It's because it's escapism into a romantic fantasy that makes them feel a certain way.
True romance is NOT always about spending money tons of money on women or showering them with gifts, etc (although it's ok to do those things occasionally with a woman you've been dating for a while if you choose to and do so because you genuinely want to).
WHAT ABOUT 'FALLING IN LOVE'?
Can a Direct guy ever fall in love with a woman, and does it make him less masculine if he does?
I say yes, a Direct guy absolutely can fall in love with a woman. You can still be masculine AND be in love.
The difference between a Direct guy and an average indirect chump when it comes to falling in love is that a Direct guy realises that true love has to be earned, therefore he takes his time before he allows himself to fall in love with a woman.
In contrast, a typical indirect guy will fall in love with a woman far too quickly which just makes him look weak and needy.
Only when a guy is 100% authentic with a woman (and she is 100% authentic with him) can he ever truly fall in love and make it work. Any other way of being that isn't authentic when it comes to love will fail.
CONCLUSION
Direct can be used for getting whatever type of relationship you are looking for, be that monogamy, marriage, non-monogamous/open relationships, casual sex and flings.
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