Your personal breaking point with indirect and mainstream dating advice, & reaching the point in your life where you HAVE to become a Direct guy

How many times do you have to keep doing something and getting very little or no results, endlessly failing, until you realise there has to be a better way of doing things?

If you were getting all the results and successes you were looking for by being indirect and by following traditional dating advice, you wouldn't be here reading about Direct, would you?

Your own personal breaking point is the point where you realise a new way of thinking towards dating and relationships is needed, and will give you the necessary motivation to start being Direct with women.

My own natural evolution from indirect to Direct

For me, I was an indirect guy up until around the age of 26 or 27.

Up until that time I did ok with dating and relationships. I had quite a lot of flings in my early to mid 20s, and I was even in a monogamous relationship for a year. But on the flip side, for every girl I did hook up with or date I also wasted a lot of time and energy in pursuing women who were not attracted to me romantically/sexually who I didn't end up hooking up with. This was a symptom of being an indirect guy, since indirect is such an inefficient way of doing things. 

It was around this time that I was pondering over the idea of being Direct anyway. It was a realisation I'd reached within myself after spending my life up until that point as an indirect guy. I had had enough of trying all sorts of 'dating advice' and it working sometimes and horribly badly at other times. Something within me told me that indirect 'wasn't quite right', and that a different approach was needed. I have always been a follower of my gut feeling and intuition to guide me through life, so I listened to these feelings.

One day I thought to myself 'why do I have to put so much effort into meeting and dating women? Why can't I simply be my real self, and attract women with my natural personality and confidence instead of trying so damn hard and being someone I'm not? Why don't I simply be honest about my intentions and let them know upfront that I'm attracted to them and that I want to hook up with them, instead of 'playing hard to get' and all that nonsense?'

This was my soul's way of telling me I'd outgrown indirect and that I desired a more authentic way of pursuing dating and relationships. Direct was the natural transition for me.

However, although I knew within myself that Direct was the way forward, I still wasn't quite there yet. Old habits die hard, and it would take me a while to 'unlearn' the indirect way of doing things and replace them with the Direct way. I was still going out and meeting women, and there were to be some harsh reminders of why indirect just has too many pitfalls and causes too many problems and misunderstandings....

The 'slap in the face' that caused me to switch permanently to Direct

Now I don't mean I was actually physically slapped by a woman. Nope. I'm speaking metaphorically of course. I've never been slapped by a girl in my whole life. I am referring to my own personal breaking point here. 

My personal breaking point was after a string of frustrating time waster experiences where I was indirect with several women and ended up really frustrated because I thought I'd 'done everything right' and I thought the 'signs' I was getting were indicators that they were interested in me in a romantic/sexual way.

There was a time I met a girl during the daytime and we then spent several months texting and emailing a back and forth only for it to come to nothing and have her tell me after all that time that she 'had a boyfriend' and that she wouldn't meet me and hook up with me. 

If I'd been a Direct guy back then, I could've found all that out upfront and wasted no time or energy on her. But the fact that I spent all that time talking to her, only for it to come to nothing caused me to feel really angry and frustrated. I wouldn't have minded being rejected upfront....but after investing so much time and energy only to to be rejected. well that was hard to take.

There was also another experience around this time where I had met a girl by chance via my business and we ended up texting back and forth for a few months and she was very keen to meet me. The thing was, SHE was always the one who initiated texts with me, and she was the one who kept asking me to meet up with her. However, I was always indirect with her. I naively mistook these 'signs' as signals that she was attracted to me in a romantic/sexual manner. However, when we did actually meet up, she brought a guy with her (she didn't state whether he was her boyfriend or a male friend, but it left me confused) and all we did was drink coffee and have a friendly conversation. Needless to say, I didn't end up dating or having sex with this girl.

To top it off, she continued texting me after this and I texted her back. Several months later I asked her to meet up again and it was then that she mentioned she 'had a boyfriend' and that nothing was going to happen between me and her. She even told me she had no idea I liked her in 'that way'. It was then that the realisation dawned on me that I should've simply been Direct with her right from the start and none of this bullshit would've happened. I even went as far as to ask her right out 'should a guy simply tell a girl at the start he's attracted to her?' and she told me that yes, he should.

This is the fucked up, time wasting, platonic interaction shit that happens when you're an indirect guy. You can too easily believe a girl is giving you genuine signs of interest, when in reality she just enjoyed your attention and your company, but she wasn't interested in you romantically/sexually. As a result, you end up wasting time and effort pursuing a girl, only to end up with nothing. This was what happened to me, and it caused me pain, heartache and a LOT of frustration.

I vowed to NEVER, EVER be indirect again after this. These indirect experiences really pissed me off. These experiences might sound really petty and you might be thinking 'geez, you should've just got over it man', but when you're really attracted to a girl and you spend time and effort pursuing her only to end up with nothing, it's only natural to feel disappointed and hurt.

I dare say that a LOT of guys have been in this position at least once, if not several times in their lifetime.

Fortunately for me, I have been Direct with women ever since that point and there is absolutely NO WAY I would ever go back to being indirect again.

Fear of approaching, fear of saying what's on my mind, fear of being sexual with girls I'm attracted to etc simply don't come into it for me. The bullshit and frustration I experienced as an indirect guy and reaching my breaking point simply crushed all those fears for me for good, and I can simply focus on being Direct now without fear ever being a block for me.

Since I switched to Direct, I have been able to go after what I want from dating and relationships in a much more efficient manner. I am quickly and easily able to weed out which women are attracted to me and on the same page as me from the ones that aren't, and I'm able to easily spot manipulators and other such negative types easily too. As a result, I no longer waste time or emotional energy on women who are not into me or not right for me, and I no longer make a fool out of myself in the pursuit of women.

I'm also not at all bothered by rejection now. If a girl isn't interested, I find out quickly and it saves me wasting time and heartache, and I can move onto someone else.

The point of this post is that going through several f*ked up experiences with women and reaching your own personal breaking point isn't a bad thing if you learn from it. It can be the catalyst that will move you forward into real success with women and make you leave your old, indirect life behind. Up until that point, you did your best - you were indirect because you simply didn't know any better and because nobody had ever explained the concept of Direct to you. So forgive yourself, because you did your best with the knowledge you had at the time.

When you've had one too many 'failures' with indirect, it can be the straw that breaks the camel's back in that you realise 'this just isn't working' and you know it's time to try a different way of doing things. 

Every 'failure' in life, including in dating and relationships, is simply a learning experience, no matter how harsh the things that happened are. When you 'fail', it's life's way of telling you that what you did doesn't work, therefore you should try something different.

So if being an indirect guy has caused you a lot of frustration and you've had your time wasted by women you were attracted to, well don't worry because fortunately being Direct is the solution to this. Being Direct eliminates time wasters and helps you easily determine whether a girl is interested in hooking up with you or not, so that you can get success in a more efficient manner.

Have you reached your own personal breaking point with indirect yet?