by Neil K
A lot of guys believe that to make Direct work, you have to be a totally extroverted, sociable type of guy, i.e. the kind of guy who goes into a room and chats to everyone and who is the life and soul of the party.
But this is a total misconception. What about if you're a more introverted sort of guy, or if socialising a lot isn't you're thing?
I'm definitely more of an introverted kind of guy who prefers my own company, and I am pretty selective who I spend my time with in that I'd rather have a close selection of true friends than to have hundreds of acquaintances.
However, many people mistakenly assume that being an introvert is synonymous with lacking confidence, and that being an extrovert is synonymous with being confident. But this isn't always the case. You can be an introvert and still be a confident guy. I call these types of people 'confidence introverts'. Equally, you can be an extrovert but lack real confidence; I think that some guys who appear really outgoing are really just putting on an act and persona to cover up a lack of deeply rooted confidence. They only give the appearance of being confident, but deep down they're insecure.
A confident introvert feels a deeply rooted sense of inner confidence, and therefore keeps himself more to himself and doesn't feel the need to show off or always be the centre of attention in social occasions. This is NOT the same thing as being under confident. I'd say I'm a confident introvert.
Don't fall into the trap of believing that being an introvert = lack of confidence and that being an extrovert = having lots of confidence.
This is also another thing that the PUA/seduction community gets wrong, because the general consensus amongst 'seduction gurus' is that to be successful with women you need to be a really sociable, high energy guy, and that when you go out to a club you have to talk to everyone, give people 'high fives', and create 'social proof'. But I don't agree with this.
You don't need to be high energy all the time, always going 'wahey!' to everyone you meet. In fact I actually find these types of guys really irritating after a while if I'm honest with you.
The idea that if you are sociable to everyone, that you will magically be seen as attractive to women as a side effect is total baloney if you ask me. Being sociable is something to do IF you want to do so....but if you're only doing it in the hope of being seen as attractive to women, then that's where you've failed already.
The notion of social proof is also bullshit in my opinion. Social proof is the idea that if you're seen as popular amongst people, that other people who don't know you will be intrigued by you and want to spend time with you. PUA community guys believe that social proof will cause other women to be attracted to you, i.e. if you go into a club and you're seen to be popular with other women that this will somehow make other women want to spread their legs and hook up with you.
Personally I think that's total bullshit and really far fetched. Sure, if you are a famous guy, say in a popular band or something, then I can see how the concept of social proof would work for you. But to a normal, average guy who's not famous and who nobody knows? Nope. The idea that you can walk into a club and create 'fake social proof', which will magically cause other women to want to date you or sleep with you is just a bunch of total nonsense.
It's also a hell of a lot of work to go about 'creating social proof'. It's much easier to forget about all that and simply concentrate on being Direct with women.
Whenever I go out to meet women, I usually go out alone. I never go out with the intention of 'being social' just so I can 'create social proof' so that women will want to hook up with me. Nope. I don't give a shit about 'social proof' and other hooky ideas like that. When I go out to meet women, I focus 100% on what I'm doing. I don't care about anyone or anything else. I just approach whichever women I'm attracted to, and I'm Direct and to the point. I find out either way whether they are up for hooking up with me.
Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you should be miserable, boring sod who never speaks to anyone. All I'm saying is that if you're not an extrovert and if you are not the kind of guy that enjoys being sociable with people, don't try and put on an act and don't pretend to be someone you're not. And definitely don't try to create fake social proof etc just so you can impress women. Just forget all that and go out and concentrate on being Direct with women you're attracted to. All the peripheral stuff is just 'try hard' and not required to do well with women.
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